I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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