So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
