Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
