Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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