I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
