Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize