i barfeds in our rink
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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