i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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