yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
