There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
