Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize