It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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