Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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