Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
