i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
