wrigley field is MILF paradise
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
