as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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