My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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