My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
