Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
