That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
His hands were made for my vagina.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
