Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
bring money and cleavage
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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