Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
