i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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