My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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