Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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