Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
