Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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