My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
