Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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