Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
