i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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