It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
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It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.