I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.