So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night