we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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