No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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