That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
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At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
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If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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