I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
