You're a womanizer and a bitch.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
