Do you still have your period?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
