I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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