TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize