somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
