Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
