Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize