$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
