It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
