Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
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Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
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Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...