i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make