True but thats because hes a fetus.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.