Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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