My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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