yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
