I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
