You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Did I show you my penis last night?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
