I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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