I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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