So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
