I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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