just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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