she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
