You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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