True but thats because hes a fetus.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
