i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
