She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
